A British mother turned to an online forum this week to ask if she should abort her second unborn baby without telling her husband, who wants the child.
The heartbreaking situation appeared on the British parenting forum Mumsnet on Friday, posted by someone under the username “Alicks,” according to The Sun.
Alicks said she is happy with her 9-month-old son, “a little angel,” and does not want any more children. However, she recently took a pregnancy test and discovered that she is pregnant with a second child.
“I was overjoyed to be pregnant with him. He wasn’t an unwanted inconvenience like this one,” she wrote. “I don’t want to be a Mum of 2. … Bottom line is, I don’t want this baby.”
However, she said her husband very much wants a second child, and she was willing to consider having another in a few years but not right now.
Alicks also said her husband previously told her that he would be devastated if she ever aborted a child. It appears he does not know about the pregnancy.
“[My husband] has always said it would be the end of our marriage if I ever terminated a pregnancy, and said he could never forgive me properly as he’d be extremely hurt,” she wrote. “He doesn’t agree with abortions unless ‘completely necessary.’”
What she will do is unclear. Some commenters urged her to tell her husband or consider the unexpected joy that a second child could be in their lives. Others claimed she has the “right to choose” and her husband has no business being part of the decision about their child’s life.
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Abortion supporters say abortion is about “choice,” but legally only one parent has a choice in the matter – the mother. Fathers who want their unborn babies have no legal abilities to protect their unborn babies’ lives. If the woman wants an abortion, he cannot stop her.
As a result, there are countless heartbroken fathers across the world who are grieving the loss of their very much wanted unborn babies.
And there likely are more than people realize. Vincent Rue, Ph.D., who wrote about his research on men and abortion in “The Effects of Abortion on Men,” said men often keep their grief to themselves.
“Men typically grieve in a private way following an abortion. Because of this, men’s requests for help may often go unrecognized and unheeded by those around them …” Rue wrote.
Post-abortion healing programs are available for men, women and others who have been affected by an unborn baby’s abortion death. Rachel’s Vineyard, an international post-abortion healing program, provides retreats and other services to help individuals heal from the loss of an aborted child.