The Washington Post published a sad commentary about abortion and adoption Monday by a Washington, D.C. lawyer who wishes her birth mother had had the “choice” to abort her.
Cynthia Landesberg was adopted from South Korea and has two adopted children of her own. But her perspective about suffering and the value of human life, including her own, is troubling and lamentable.
“When antiabortion advocates ask adoptees who support abortion rights, ‘Would you rather have been aborted?’ the intent is to coerce us into saying no. But for some of us, the answer is yes,” Landesberg wrote.
Born in the 1980s in South Korea, she said her mother gave birth to her when abortions were illegal and support for mothers in need was almost non-existent. Decades later, she said she still does not know how she ended up on a street when she was just seven weeks old and probably never will.
Adopted by an American family, Landesberg later became a lawyer and had children of her own, including two of whom she adopted from South Korea.
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But she is angry that pro-lifers promote adoption as a wonderful alternative to abortion and upset that America soon may see more babies available for adoption – babies like herself.
“If the Supreme Court overturns Roe v. Wade, pregnant people in the United States will face a similarly unconscionable lack of choice,” Landesberg wrote. “And the consequences could be grievous for them and their children.”
She criticized society for thinking adoptions are like “fairy tales,” noting the trauma and mental health problems that birth mothers and adopted children often struggle with. She said she experienced racism and bullying, and faulted her adoptive parents for raising her “White.”
“To those who oppose abortion, I say: Don’t hide behind stories like mine. Adoption isn’t a fairy-tale solution. And adoptees aren’t here to be the balm on your pro-life conscience,” she continued.
Though it means she would not be alive today, Landesberg said she wishes her birth mother had had the “choice” to abort her.
She concluded:
Perhaps if my birth mother had a real choice, I’d have been aborted, unknowingly absorbed back into the earth. Perhaps she would have raised me, and I’d be navigating the ordinary challenges of life without the adoption baggage.
Or maybe I’d be exactly where I am now — but I would know this was her decision. I wouldn’t be left wondering if I’d been coerced into existence, bought or stolen into adoption. I wouldn’t be left carrying the pain I’m sure she felt.
Landesberg’s perspective about her life and other adoptees is both sad and troubling. It is abortion that devalues life, that adds to their hurt, because it says that society should be allowed to destroy children’s lives if there’s a possibility that they may suffer more than others.
As her column pointed out, adopted children often do question their value and struggle with their sense of self-worth. But this is all the more reason to reject abortion, which confirms these false beliefs, and focus instead on affirming and encouraging these individuals while helping them receive counseling and treatment to heal.
Landesberg deserves to know – just as every child does – that her early childhood circumstances and the choices of her parents do not define her life or her worth. That she is valuable, capable of overcoming suffering and achieving wonderful things, of loving and being loved, of healing and finding hope for the future.
It is true that some people do suffer more than others. But suffering in life is inevitable, and killing babies before they are born is not a solution to it, not for the mother or her child.
