A man has described the emotional distress he endured after discovering that his wife had secretly aborted their unborn child who was conceived 25 years ago. The heartbroken husband described how he “burst out crying” for his unborn child and felt “anger” when his wife told him she had aborted his child.
Louise Grant, Abortion Recovery Care and Helpline (ARCH) Director said: “It is heartbreaking that sometimes a woman has a secret abortion.
“This woman obviously felt under pressure in her circumstances at the time. But if she had spoken to her husband she may have found that he was very supportive and would have helped ease her fears about being pregnant. Many woman say that if they had known that they had the support of their partner they would not have had an abortion.”
“How could she murder our unborn child?”
The un-named man wrote about his experience in an online open forum “agony aunt” called “I need advice”. He wrote: “A week ago, my wife revealed something to me that has shocked me to my core.
“She revealed that a month after our wedding, she got pregnant. As ours was an arranged marriage, she claims she wanted to know me better, before we had any children. So with the help of some of her friends (we were living in Mumbai back then), she aborted the baby without my knowledge.
“I was appalled, my initial reaction was to burst out crying — for my unborn child, and in anger toward the woman who murdered it. I could not believe this woman is my own wife.
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“She cried a lot too; she says she has lived with the guilt and regret for 25 years. She has not stopped apologising or crying. But my life has turned upside down.
“I am so angry with her. How could she murder our unborn child?”
Seeking help and finding support
“I need advice” does not reply to letters, but invites readers to give their advice and comments. Many readers were moved by the grief-stricken man’s testimony.
Readers encouraged the husband to be compassionate with his wife because of the remorse and emotional impact that the secret abortion had upon her.
Louise Grant said: “Through openness and clarity with each other, this couple could have avoided the pain of abortion, the guilt for the woman of carrying such a heavy secret for so long and then the hurt that it would later bring to both of them.”