The pain of my birthmother’s abortion ends with me.
Instead of continuing its devastation throughout our children’s lives and thereafter, the ripple effect of that forced abortion across our family ends in this generation of my half-sisters and me.
The story of suffering that we’ve all experienced has now been rewritten into a story of love and redemption. This is what our children will know—that abortion has affected our family in a huge way, but God had used it for good. Many of us in our family are responsible for this forgiveness and restoration.
Even if they never speak publicly, the truth is that so many in our family have played an important role in changing the narrative of pain that we’ve experienced. Setting someone free from the devastation of abortion is one of the most difficult yet necessary things any of us can do in our families.
There’s a quote that says “pain travels in families until someone is ready to feel it.”
We have most certainly felt it in our family. And whether it’s spoken about openly or not, if an abortion has occurred in your family, there is pain that has radiated through yours, too.
I know it’s hard to broach the conversation. It’s so incredibly awkward and difficult to bring up the secret that no one talks about except in hushed whispers.
But we MUST talk about it. Not with judgment or condemnation, but with love.
We need to give voice to the experience of so many women and men. They have been impacted by abortion physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, no matter how much the mainstream culture tries to silence those experiences and the research that reflects this.
Think about how freeing this truth might be to someone who has believed that the abortion shouldn’t have affected them, that they’re the only one who has struggled after it?
We must let people know that there are many great opportunities to heal from their abortion through Rachel’s Vineyard, Project Rachel, local pregnancy center healing programs, to name just a few. Consider how a healing program could change the course of their life forever (in a positive way)!
We need to admit that there is grief that so many of us feel in families after an abortion has occurred. Grandparents, siblings, aunts and uncles, cousins…that lost child is not forgotten. That knowledge may provide such support to the affected family member who has never forgotten their child.
As difficult as this process of facing my birthmother’s forced abortion has been for my biological family and me, I’m so thankful that we’ve all found the strength to do it. The pain traveled for decades, but it’s devastation has been halted, and a life of love, hope, and joy has replaced so much of the pain.
If we can face this, I know that you can face it, too. Be willing to start the conversation to confront the pain. What a gift you’ll be giving to your family for generations to come.