During his opening monologue Thursday, Jimmy Kimmel trashed President Trump’s supporters as well as the “strict anti-choice laws” in southern states such as Alabama. After weighing in on President Trump’s re-election kickoff, Kimmel unveiled a public service announcement for the pro-abortion movement.
Kimmel began by mentioning that “Trump’s campaign team has come up with a diabolical way to make money. Every time the President says or tweets something crazy, it causes a surge in online activity because people want to know what he said so whenever that happens, the campaign floods the web with ads right at those moments, to encourage his supporters to buy #MAGA merchandise. Basically, they’ve figured out a way to monetize stupid.” This haughty rhetoric mirrors Kimmel’s reaction to the people who donated to the GoFundMe page to fund the border wall, suggesting those people were “dipping into their meth money for this.”
Kimmel eventually began weighing in on the newly passed abortion laws, complaining that “several southern states are doing what they can to overturn Roe v. Wade.” He focused specifically on Alabama’s “near total abortion ban” before appearing to trash the state of Alabama by saying “no woman should ever be forced to raise a child in Alabama. It just shouldn’t happen.” Kimmel complained that “these strict anti-choice laws put women’s reproductive rights at risk.”
At this point, Kimmel begin playing a video that could have easily been written by Planned Parenthood. The video featured a woman, played by actress Rachel Bloom, walking into an exercise class as a narrator recited left-wing talking points, specifically romanticizing plan B as “a safe way to give you the reproductive choices you need when you need it most.”
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As someone attempted to hand the woman a Plan B, the Plan B quickly disappeared and was replaced with a note saying “Plan B now unavailable”. At this point, the narrator began reciting some more left-wing talking points, saying that in lieu of Plan B, the woman can rely on Plan C: “C stands for car, as in get in one and drive 230 miles or so to a neighboring state.” As the woman drove in her car, a voice on the radio talked about how “Alabama has essentially outlawed emergency contraception. Alabama, Louisiana, Georgia, even Ohio. They’re all trying to restrict women’s reproductive health rights.”
The narrator began to outline some other options “now that you’re actually pregnant.” These options included “Plan D. D is for doctor. Just find someone who claims to be one on Craigslist. Meet them behind a Popeye’s Fried Chicken and voila. Who says women don’t have the right to choose?” Plan E involved getting emotional and crying “that sucker right out of you.”
The video ended with the narrator describing “Plan F, as in f***ed because that’s what you are.” At this point, the woman was dressed in a Handmaid’s Tale costume and very unhappily holding two screaming babies; sort of implying that pregnancy was a disease.
Perhaps Cecile Richards can fill in for Jimmy Kimmel if he ever needs a night off.