Dilemma: Your fave TV star is getting married. Though you’ve never met either member of the happy couple, and likely never will, you feel compelled to send them a gift. But they won’t share their wedding registry — even with you! Do you a) take a chance on a Bullet Blender? b) cut air holes in a refrigerator box and ship yourself to their house, or c) knit them his and hers hand towels of your own hair?
It’s a real pickle. But we live in highly political times, and nobody is happier to raise your consciousness than the selfless people you look to for entertainment. Whether it’s transgender fitting rooms at Macy’s, the plight of feminist sorghum farmers of color or Save the Lobsters, your TV friends know what the causes are, and most are big enough to forgo the cappuccino maker and direct your money where it will do the most, er, good.
Well,according to Comicbook.com, actor Tom Ellis is making it easy on his fans: give the gift of abortion instead. He’s asking Twitter followers to just donate to Planned Parenthood. And that kinda makes sense when you realize that Ellis plays the title character on Netflix’s Lucifer, about, yes, the Devil. Apparently, he’s a method actor.
Thank you to all the people that have been asking about wedding gifts or charitable donations for my upcoming nuptials with @MoppyOpps that is so kind. If you would like to make a donation to @PPFA #plannedparenthood we would be very grateful 🙏🏼😊
— tom ellis (@tomellis17) May 22, 2019
Note the prayer emoji? Ironic, eh? Also ironic, his twitter bio says he’s an “actor dad and other fun things.” Being a dad can’t be all that much fun if you would deny the experience to other guys. But he seems sincere about this. Apparently, America’s leading abortion mill is in need of scratch. More states are rejecting infanticide, the CMP videos put a dent in the baby parts trade, and there’s only so much cash you can make from fake mammograms.
Ellis’s fiance, who seems to also be in the biz (entertainment, not the temptation/torturing souls biz — I don’t think), is in accord with her guy, The Father of Lies:
We’ve had some people asking where they can donate or send gifts in honor of @tomellis17 and my upcoming wedding. We want to thank everyone for their thoughtfulness and ask that, if you feel like it, you donate to Planned Parenthood @PPFA – thank you! #StoptheBans
— Meaghan Oppenheimer (@MoppyOpps) May 22, 2019
Etiquette question: in six or eight months (what’s over/under on a C-List Hollywood marriages these days?) and Satan and Wife announce they’re “conscious uncoupling,” is it customary for lonely fans to send gifts for that ceremony, too?