Like so many women’s abortion stories, 20-year-old Katia’s is full of pain.
Katia found out that she was pregnant not long after she “missed a few days” of taking her birth control pills. She had just started college, and her relationship with her boyfriend was still fairly new. She said she did not have a good support system around her either. Her parents were retired and living in another country, and she had not made many friends at her university yet.
So, she aborted her unborn baby.
Katarzyna D., or Katia, a journalism student from England, wrote about her abortion in a column for MTV’s website. As abortion activists have encouraged so many women to do, she partly blamed her pain on the “stigma” and disapproval she faced from her family.
When she told her mother that she had an abortion, Katia said her mother warned her not to mention it to her grandmother.
“You can’t tell your Babi,” her mother said. “This would kill her.”
“Her comment made me feel guilty,” Katia wrote. “My own mother saw me as a person who’d done something wrong, something that not everyone could support. I realized I had been naïve to think that my choice to have a legitimate, necessary medical procedure that essentially prevented a ball of cells from progressing into a lifeform would be widely accepted. I found myself with very few outlets to channel all the pain I was feeling.”
While admitting that she still struggles with pain and regret, Katia claimed that aborting her unborn child was “the right choice” for her.
The pros and cons of abortion have long been publicly debated, and I have no extenuating circumstances that make my decision any more or less justifiable. I didn’t keep my baby and that was my decision — one that I must live with for the rest of my life.
But knowing that I chose this option doesn’t make my feelings of loss any less intense. The ordeal took me into a very dark and lonely place. I started living in a bubble of sadness, pushing people away and obsessing over my choice. One moment I was confident in my decision and the next I was tearing my hair out with regret.
Later, she added:
I want to share my experience with abortion, if only to help break some of this stigma surrounding it. I have managed to overcome my suffering for the most part. At first I sought counseling from my university, but the sessions forced me to address a lot of pain, and as time went on, I couldn’t handle it anymore. It was emotionally exhausting.
They say time heals all wounds, and I think that’s true in this case. I haven’t completely healed: The pain still sneaks up on me in my lowest moments. But being able to talk about it openly without being judged — or, worse, humiliated by the visible awkwardness that goes hand in hand with abortion and the raw display of emotions it can evoke — pulls me up when I feel like I’m falling.
If sharing my story only serves as a reminder that people who have been directly affected by abortion still need to talk about it, then I’m glad. That’s more than enough.
Abortion activists have convinced so many hurting women that others are to blame for the pain they experienced after their abortion. They do not want women to acknowledge that the root of the pain is their unborn baby’s unnecessary death.
Despite what Katia may have been told, her unborn baby was not just a “ball of cells.” From the moment of conception, before she even knew she was pregnant, her baby was a living, separate human being with his/her own unique DNA. Biologists, medical researchers, textbooks and even some abortion advocates admit this to be fact.
Katia’s baby deserved to live, and both Katia and her child deserved to be supported and loved. Katia also deserves to be told the truth and offered a chance to truly heal. Compassionate post-abortion counseling and healing programs are available to women like her through various pro-life organizations. These programs do not judge women, rather they help them heal by encouraging women to recognize that the root of their pain is their choice to abort their unborn baby. These programs have helped countless women begin to heal and forgive themselves from their part in an unborn child’s abortion.