A online forum that solicited stories about men’s experiences with abortion received a number of heartbreaking testimonies.
Though it takes both a man and a woman to create a baby, fathers basically have no rights to their unborn children in America. Legalized abortion makes the unborn child’s life and death solely the mother’s decision. Roe v. Wade leaves men powerless to protect their unborn child’s life if the woman wants an abortion.
One father shared his emotional experience with abortion recently on the question and answer website Quora. Under a post asking men to share their abortion experiences, commenter Stephen Gamble detailed his desperate attempts to convince his girlfriend not to abort their nine-week unborn child.
“I am terrified, I feel helpless,” Gamble wrote.
The Mirror reports more about his story:
He starts his story, “right now I am a living a nightmare,” and his account is incredibly raw.
Although, to begin with, his partner said “she wanted me to have a 50% say in this,” it’s become clear to him that she is against having the baby.
The couple are clearly completely opposed in their views on what to do next, with Stephen admitting, “I showed her a picture of a 9 week old aborted baby, it was horrific, it looked human to me but to her it just looked alien.”
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Stephen’s heartfelt writing opens a window into how it actually feels to live through such a momentous decision for a couple.
He concludes, “I wish I had never met her. I wish I never fell in love. I wish I had remained a lonely 27 year old virgin.”
Gamble said his girlfriend knew about his desire for children before they began having sex, and she “was unconcerned with using any form of contraception.”
“I asked what would happen if she did get pregnant, she said she loved me and that my opinion would be important to her, but she was infertile, right!” he wrote.
Initially when they learned she was pregnant, Gamble said his girlfriend seemed happy with the idea of having a child together. Then, her mother found out and began discouraging her, saying she would be a “terrible mother” and warning her that Gamble might leave her and the baby.
Then one day she sat me down and told me we would have to make a decision as quickly as possible. She wanted me to have a 50% say in this she said. I was the father and my opinion mattered, we would need to reach an amicable decision. It soon became clear how she really felt. She was terrified of having a child and she wanted to change my mind to absolve her of any guilt she would feel for killing my unborn child. I wouldn’t budge, I told her I thought she would be a great mum and that I would support her fully, she put off the decision a bit longer, there was a lot of to-ing and fro-ing. Then one day she told me that I would just have to get this baby nonsense out of my head. I cried and cried and cried, I begged her, I offered to raise the child on my own, to absolve her of any responsibility at all, financial or otherwise but she said she thought that was unfair, she didn’t want to put me in the position of being a single father.
The post ended with a desperate Gamble saying he is contemplating suicide because he feels so powerless to save his unborn child. When Gamble wrote the post in May, he said his girlfriend had not gone through with the abortion yet. LifeNews could not find an update on the situation.
Some men like Gamble beg the mothers of their babies not to have an abortion, others pressure them to have abortions, and some attempt to remain neutral by telling her that it’s her “right to choose.” No matter what the situation, men often are negatively affected by abortion in similar ways to women.
One study found that just 1 percent of men whose children were aborted said they would consider abortion again in the future. In the same study, more than 90 percent of men said they experience grief and sadness and still thought about the baby.
It is clear from men’s stories and research that abortion is not merely a women’s issue. An abortion is something that negatively affects the the whole family – the mother, the father and especially the unborn child.