Fairly often LifeNews receives emails from readers who want to share their personal experiences with unplanned pregnancies, adoptions, disabilities and abortions. Some of the most moving, heartbreaking stories come from women who have chosen abortion and later realized the consequences of their decision.
Earlier this month, a woman named Melissa reached out to LifeNews and shared the story of her abortion 17 years ago. Every year on the anniversary of her unborn child’s due date, Melissa said she mourns for her unborn baby, who she named Isaiah. She said she has found forgiveness and healing from God, but sometimes she still struggles to forgive herself.
She told her story in the following letter to LifeNews and to the pro-life pregnancy center that helped her through a subsequent unplanned pregnancy:
I write this with a heavy heart!
As the 17th birthday of a little boy I named Isaiah approaches, I find myself overwhelmed with a grief and longing I thought I stuffed away so many years ago!
It was 1999, I was 20 at the time. A single mom, full-time college student, also working full time. I was dating a man, who I later discovered married another woman during our three-year relationship. After I told him the news of the pregnancy, he told me that abortion was the best option in our situation. After some soul searching, and much pressure on his part, I soon agreed.
We made the appointment and he came with me to the small clinic. I was called back and soon sedated. I remember coming to as I smelt a strong chemical smell. I then realized the reality of what I had just done. I began screaming and crying, asking where my baby was! I was told to calm down, that it was too late…it had been done. I screamed as my heart ached for this unknown soul who I allowed to miss out on this life.
I was quickly escorted to a private room because my screams echoed through the walls, scaring the other girls in the waiting room there, too, to end the future of one innocent soul. I was again sedated and left to with my own thoughts for what seemed like many hours. My boyfriend met me at the door and took me to lunch, where I discussed the hurt and regret I was feeling. I was assured by him that what we had done was best. I couldn’t believe this.
I struggled silently alone with this for several months, masquerading to the world a brave face. But I wasn’t. I just found a way to stuff the hurt and pain away, not knowing it would someday resurface with a vengeance! Today is that someday, as I sit hear and mourn and reflect my dear sweet Isaiah. My heart aches as I again ask the Lord to forgive the awful sin.
I am thinking about my current life, I have been married to the love of my life 16 years now. We have four children together. Number 4 I must say was quite the surprise, but with the support of [a local pregnancy resource center], we found love, support and encouragement for this new life we were about to welcome into our life! Our beautiful little Kairi (pronounced Key-ree) is now 4! Oh the joy and love she has brought to our entire family! I simply could not imagine life without her!
I couldn’t have asked for better support, both emotional and material! I will continue to support right to life! I know somehow, my god has forgiven this sin, I have yet to forgive myself. I do not know how long this grief spell will last, but I feel that sharing my story and thanks may help.
Melissa said she recently decided to share her story publicly with the hope of helping other women see the value of their unborn babies’ lives and the pain of abortion.
“If I help one girl change her mind…my heart will be happy!” she said in an email.
Women like Melissa are brave individuals for sharing their bitterly painful past mistakes, knowing well the judgment and criticism they could receive. They make themselves vulnerable because of their desire to help protect other women and their unborn babies. Their stories expose the truth about abortion and counteract the lies of the abortion industry.
Through the Silent No More Awareness Campaign, thousands of individuals like Melissa have shared their abortion stories to encourage other women not to make the same mistakes they did.
Proof of the stories’ power came with a phone call to the campaign office the day before New Year’s Eve in 2011. Co-founder Georgette Forney answered a call from a mother of three who said she had an appointment to have an abortion of her fourth child the following day. After reading some of the testimonies, she realized: “She didn’t want to have the regret these women suffer from. And she was concerned that, although she is always able to forgive others, she might not ever be able to forgive herself.”
By the end of their conversation, the woman realized she didn’t need to “depend on abortion” to solve the challenges the unplanned pregnancy presented. She told Forney she was canceling her appointment.
Find more stories, as well as resources for women, at SilentNoMoreAwareness.org.