Clair McGlynn wanted to have children with her fiance, “Sam,” but after five discouraging years of infertility treatments, the British woman decided that she had enough.
McGlynn dumped Sam to pursue a family on her own, according to The Daily Mail.
The couple first discovered their infertility problems after trying unsuccessfully to get pregnant for three years, the report states. Doctors tested both Clair and Sam and discovered that Sam was not producing any sperm, the report states.
At the time, the then 26-year-old promised her fiance that she would stick by him, despite the devastating news.
“He knew how much I wanted to be a mum and told me to leave him. I said that love didn’t work like that. I wanted to be with him and I wasn’t going anywhere,” she said. “I wasn’t about to give up then. I had dreams of having a family together. This is what we’d talked about. We both wanted loads of children and I never wanted children with anyone else.”
The trouble began when the couple started exploring their options. Sam was opposed to sperm donation and suggested adoption, but Clair wanted to carry a baby, according to the report. The couple found a glimmer of hope when a fertility clinic in Cyprus found Sam had a few sperm. They tried intra-uterine insemination with Sam’s sperm, but it was unsuccessful, the report states. In the course of five years, the couple spent tens of thousands of dollars on tests and fertility treatments, the report states.
The report continues:
Then in 2010 Clair went on to a sperm donor website and found a man from Cyprus with similar colouring to Sam’s. ‘He still wasn’t sure whether he could bring up another man’s child, although I hoped he would come round.
‘But as the months went on, I realised he wasn’t going to change his mind. We started to drift apart. I couldn’t stop thinking about being a mum. We argued a lot about it. I said he wasn’t being fair.
‘I would wake up in the night in dread, thinking about it all. I felt time was running out for me, but I was so in love with Sam that I never in a million years thought we would split up. Yet I was also desperate to be a mum.
‘My friends were already on their second and third babies. And I loved being around them all, especially my four-year-old nephew.
‘We were arguing more and more and Sam was going out with friends without me.’
In 2011, without warning, Clair left Sam while he was away on a skiing trip. She said it was a difficult decision, and it left Sam heartbroken. The couple had been together for 12 years.
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But Clair said she does not regret it. In 2013, she began pursuing fertility treatments again. Eventually, through in vitro fertilization, Clair used a sperm and egg donor to become pregnant, the report states.
In December 2014, she gave birth to twin girls, named Faith and Hope. She said her family and friends have been very supportive of her as a single mother. She also reconnected with Sam, who met her and the twins at a cafe. He told Clair that he was “proud” of her.
“Of course, I’d like to find another partner one day – I do have hopes for the future – but I don’t regret leaving my fiance,” Clair said. “If I had stayed with him, I wouldn’t have my beautiful girls, and they are my world.”
The painful breakup between Clair and Sam appears to be another sign of a society that is removing men from the parenthood equation. Already, fathers are denied the right to protect the lives of their unborn children. The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that aborting an unborn baby is solely a woman’s decision. Some believe that the political removal of male responsibility from early parenthood also has led to more abortions, as some men refuse to support their pregnant partners and unborn children.