As many moms and dads know, parenting can be difficult regardless of if a child has a disability or not. However, some parents don’t like to acknowledge that there are aspects of parenting they hate because they don’t want to cast a negative light on their children. This is especially true for mothers of children with disorders like cerebral palsy, autism and Down syndrome.
But in a recent blog post on MamaMia, one mom of a child with Down syndrome decided to be completely honest about what she hates about her son’s condition. The mom, Kat Abianac, has a two-year-old named Parker who was born with Downs. According to Mayo Clinic, Down syndrome is the most common genetic chromosomal condition among children and causes physical and intellectual disabilities.
Unfortunately, Down syndrome is a widely stigmatized disorder and some families struggle raising children with the condition because society views them as burden or as people who will never reach the potential of other human beings. In fact, 90% of women who are given the prenatal diagnosis that their baby will have Down syndrome end the life of their unborn child through abortion.
Thankfully, Kat doesn’t view her son this way; rather, she sees that there are aspects of Parker’s condition that make him different than everyone else and parts that she simply doesn’t like.
She writes, “Let’s keep it real, shall we? I don’t like everything about parenting. I hated my daughter’s croup. Why do I need to like everything about Down syndrome?” Then she goes on to list ten things she hates about Down syndrome.
Here’s her list in full and a few selected reasons:
- I hate it when people give him things and let him through ‘because he’s cute’.
Yeah, I know he’s freaking cute. He’s also the devil’s spawn and a totally manipulative little soul with a smile that could charm paint off walls.
But he’ll still be waiting in the FRICKEN QUEUE. Behind all the other people. Because that’s where he belongs- in his place.
I like to tell them that, too. Then I get a sympathetic smile that makes me want a magic lamp. One that will make said person his birth mother, for 48 emotionally manipulative hours.
- I hate it when I forget to prep people to let them know my son has Down syndrome, and I have to coach them through their reaction.
I don’t always mind.. but it’s draining. It’s like being delivered my diagnosis all over again, on a smaller scale. I can tell how much they know about Down syndrome by watching 30 seconds after they find out.
So I just keep putting it out there to 8,000 people on his Facebook page every day, and kinda just hope the locals in my town have seen him before on their sister’s friend’s cousin’s newsfeed.
CLICK LIKE IF YOU’RE PRO-LIFE!
Is it too much to ask that EVERYONE knows EVERYTHING about ALL THE THINGS? Hey, it’s MY whinge list, remember? What I will never whinge about are all those second meetings, where they tell me how Parker changed something about their perspective.
And he hears, and just tilts his head and flashes a smile and all the paint melts off the wall in its direct path, into a glorious puddle of rainbows and butterflies and kittens and unicorns.
- I hate it when I realise that two whole years has passed since my life changed, and I realize I wasn’t this person sooner.
I am 30 years old, and it took me so damn long to learn what ’empathy’ is.
It is simply placing yourself in the shoes of another person, and understanding how they feel.
Every time a new friend learns my son has Down syndrome, I empathize when they are surprised, and unsure what to say. It’s ok that you don’t know what to say. I’ve been there, remember!