I Went to the Planned Parenthood Abortion Clinic to Kill My Daughter, But Something Happened

National   |   Sarah Zagorski   |   May 15, 2015   |   6:04PM   |   Washington, DC

In 1999, D.C. McAllister went to Planned Parenthood with the intention of having an abortion. She already had two children, was living in poverty and struggling to figure out life as a single mom. McAllister’s story, unfortunately, is the story of many moms in America.

According to the Guttmacher Institute, six in ten mothers who have abortions already have children. Although the pro-abortion movement uses this statistic to argue that abortion is good for women, in reality this only means that women need more support in child rearing. They need to know that they are not alone and can get help.

McAllister explained how she was planning to justify her abortion. She said, “I thought aborting the baby would be best for myself, for my children, for the baby. But my baby would be dead. That’s what I knew as I sat in my car that day in the parking lot of Planned Parenthood, and I couldn’t escape it. While I rationalized that killing my baby would be best for everyone, her included, I knew it was really about me, my disappointments, my feelings, my life that would suddenly be so hard.”

However, as she was sitting in her car she suddenly changed her mind. McAllister realized she couldn’t sacrifice her child’s life to make her life more comfortable. Even though she knew that choosing life might mean more poverty and adversity, she couldn’t kill her baby.

She said, “I didn’t kill my daughter. I’m ashamed that I wanted to—even for a moment. In the end, though, I couldn’t do it. Her blood would not be spilled to make my life easier, no matter how right my motivations might have been when it came to my family.”

From there, McAllister’s journey was far from easy. She wasn’t able to get food stamps or other government benefits because of Clinton’s welfare reform laws.

She explained her life at that time like this:

I moved into a small apartment that smelled of mold. Pill bugs infested the place. In the mornings, I’d wake up to find them covering the carpet in the living room. I’d have to vacuum them every day so the kids wouldn’t get into them. So often, my children would ask why mommy and daddy weren’t together. I never had a good answer, only reassurances that they were loved, and daddy would see them soon. “Everything would be all right. I promise.”

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I remember sitting on the floor of my apartment one night, the baby keeping me awake with rolling back and forth. Bars of light from the street lamp outside my window pressed through the blinds onto the floor. My little prison. A cage I had built for myself. I tried not to cry, but I couldn’t stop the tears. I was feeling sorry for myself, giving in to despair.

Thankfully, a church in her community stepped in to help McAllister and her daughter is now 15-years-old. Not for one minute did she regret her decision to choose life for her daughter.

She concluded, “To any woman who thinks death is the best choice so that life can be better, please know this isn’t true. Death is never best. Death is darkness. Death is the end. Death is hopelessness. Life is full of possibilities. Life offers hope. Life fosters love.”

dcmcallister