Pastor Says This One Sin Haunts Him With Grief and Shame Like No Other

National   |   Sarah Zagorski   |   Jan 9, 2015   |   6:43PM   |   Lancaster, CA

In the pro-life movement, we hear a lot about abortion’s negative effects on women and their mental health. However, we don’t usually hear abortion stories from men and we certainly don’t hear them from pastors. This is probably because, just like post-abortive women, post-abortive men can feel guilt and shame as a result of their involvement.

Shane Idleman is the founder and lead pastor of Westside Christian Fellowship, in Lancaster, California; and he recently opened up about his participation in an abortion on his churches blog:

“Approximately 23 years ago, as a prodigal, I conceded to my girlfriends request to abort our child around the 5th week of conception. The pain of that decision still haunts me today. What would they look like? Was it a boy or a girl? I can picture walking and talking with my child…watching his or her first steps…holding them when they cry and rejoicing with them when they succeed. But these are just dreams in my mind; dreams thshaneidlemanat often leave me heartbroken. Regret is one of the hardest pains to deal with because it is a constant reminder that we failed…failed God, others, and the aborted child.

Groups such as Planned Parenthood say that there are little, if any emotional scars for the women involved…the baby is just tissue. This is very deceptive—the emotional scars can last a lifetime. And it’s not just women who feel the pain, the men often carry tremendous guilt as well.

This article was extremely difficult for me to write—I shed many tears, contemplated deleting it, and prayed diligently for direction. But I cannot, and will not, remain silent. There is a reason why “mother,” “baby,” and “abort” have been changed to “a woman’s right to choose”; it’s a marketing ploy designed to hide a brutal practice.”

Although there isn’t much research about abortions impact on men, there is substantial evidence that indicates that post-abortive men suffer silently after abortion. According to the Silent No More Awareness Campaign, a group that works to help post-abortive men and women, men who are opposed to abortion but supported their partners’ decision may have an immediate reaction to the death of their child. They may feel sadness, grief, anger and a sense of not being able to protect

Additionally, as LifeNews previously reported, abortion is known to damage and even destroy romantic relationships. Brian Fisher, the President of Online for Life commented on the consequences of abortion for men.

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He said, “We are just now considering, though, that we victimize ourselves. Depression, guilt, shame, a loss of self, a loss of honor, and destroyed relationships are common male consequences of abortion. In our heart of hearts, we are coming to grips with what we’re doing. We are willfully taking the lives of those we are wired to protect.”