Our greatest rewards aren’t always tangible. Sometimes just knowing you helped someone is better than gold. My heart broke for many years hearing story after story of women or girls who were raped and had nowhere to turn.
Rejected by families and ridiculed by people who should offer help, depression easily crept into these moms’ hearts. They were greatly misunderstood by most who learned they wanted to give birth to their babies after rape. It’s very hard to listen to these heartbreaking stories but the rewards of seeing lives saved and changed are great.
Many times women hide the fact that they were raped and pregnant because of the backlash of comments and even physical attacks. They suffer in silence. My own mother at 79 still crying said, “My mom never did believe I was raped.” The biggest need can be met by simply by starting with compassion. They need to be believed. It is the most rewarding opportunity that has gone unnoticed or ignored.
I’ve been told so many times, “I thought I was the only one.” It’s been almost four years since starting CHOICES4LIFE. In this short time females of all races and ages have been helped.
Over twenty have been directly helped and at least another twenty have been helped through counseling and/or referrals both in the U.S. & internationally. Children conceived in rape struggling with identity find comfort in not being the “only one” also. Mothers who have miscarried or aborted find comfort and compassion also.
Does this face to the left look like a mom reminded of her rapist? Absolutely not. This mom loves her baby with all her heart. That happy face is real but don’t let it fool you into thinking she wasn’t hurt. She has the joy of her life to give her something else to think about now. This 15 year old was raped at 14 by a 66 year old pedophile and became pregnant. He is in jail but still doctors called her a “wild child” and said she was lying to “save her reputation.” Her mom stood by her and fired the doctor only to find that he was the one on call when she went to the ER for a premature delivery. What a complete change of heart this doctor had during delivery.
He realized he was wrong about Kali. Sadly her classmates didn’t have a change of heart and spray painted her parents’ house after Kali gave birth. Bullying continued to be so bad that her mom took her out of public school and is now homeschooling. Kali is blessed to have wonderful parents who would die for her and their grandson. Because the baby was born prematurely medical bills are great. CHOICES4LIFE helped with medical bills, baby needs and other immediate needs along with lots of moral support.
Kali is now home school because of the horrible attitudes toward her at public school. She is a strong young mom and excels in all that she does even being an Honor student with all A’s. Her mom said that on the last weeks of public school, “The bullying took a toll on her and she got a “B.” She is doing excellent once again with home schooling. Her parents want her to have as normal a life as possible and encourage her greatly. Kali loves running with a track team. This brave teen also gave moral support to me. When I was hitting bumps in the road with educating the public about rape conception, Kali wrote the following message to me:
“You do so much for me and all of the other girls who need your help! You are a miracle. You were born for a reason and you have made a huge difference in the world. Some girls would be on the streets making the wrong decisions that they would regret for the rest of their life, or make the right decision but not be able to provide for themselves. You have saved many people’s lives that is a big deal.”
Kali and her mom are both working with CHOICES4LIFE reaching out to help others struggling through similar situations. Most of the females who are helped want to help others. A common thread amongst these moms is the overwhelming love for children. Society tries to tell these moms they’d be better off never seeing. Just ask these mothers what they feel. They do not hesitate to say their babies are their life. These children given to them after horrific circumstances become their hope for a future … a better future. Mari is another young mother so very grateful for CHOICES4LIFE for the past year. Her battles are great but her love for her daughter sustains her. Mari wrote:
“Aww my precious gift from God! Thank you to all those who have a story to tell like me, Juda and everyone on the Board, I love you all and have never felt so accepted not even by my own family…you all are my new family sharing this beautiful gift with me. God Bless you all and you’re in our prayers.”
Connecting mothers to other mothers is very important. So many mothers are available through CHOICES4LIFE to help that lonely mother who has no hope of finding acceptance and understanding. Talking with other mothers who love their babies allows these hurting moms to find freedom to express their own love for their baby. Some struggle with finances while others battle with family and society’s prejudice. I can personally encourage them for the heroes they truly are because I remember my mom’s struggles.
The hurt never went away though she forgave every person who hurt her. From relocating moms out of state if necessary to escape threatening people to giving baby showers for new moms everyone is helped. One woman was being threatened in another country and was given connections for her safety. Children conceived after rape also need to know they aren’t alone.
Together we can accomplish great things. It is my goal to help every woman pregnant after rape or raising their children, newborn or older teen and to also help hurting mothers who miscarried or aborted. There are many more moms being helped that can’t show their face because they live with the threat of the rapist or family member. They too find hope and comfort talking with others. There are still so many who suffer silently. If you know of someone who is pregnant after rape or raising a child reach out to them and celebrate the life they have in that child. While we feel sorry for victims we shouldn’t feel sorry for a mom having her baby after rape. Truly they know this child is a gift as these two mothers pictured. To speak and feel regret that her child is here will only add to her pain. Please see her child as her child. She does.
LifeNews Note: Juda Myers is founder of CHOICES4LIFE helping restore honor and dignity to women and children of rape conception. She also helps women find comfort and hope, who have miscarried or aborted. Children conceived in rape struggling with identity issues will find hope and purpose also.