I Survived an Abortion, Now I’m Talking to My Mother For the First Time

Opinion   |   Melissa Ohden   |   Aug 5, 2013   |   6:03PM   |   Washington, DC

Prayers are answered and the time and manner in which they are, undoubtedly, are not always what we want or expect, as I talked about recently in the article about the closing of the abortion clinic where Abby Johnson worked.

I have lived with peace about my life and the reality that I may never hear from my birthmother, that I may never know if she knows that I love her and that I have forgiven her for the decision by those around her that was made to end my life through an abortion. I have continued to pray for God’s will to be done and trusted in His plans for us, but I’ll be honest. Deep down, I never believed that I would have any contact with my birthmother. And then the unexpected happened…
After years of prayers on my part and many of yours, I was contacted by a member of my extended birth family, a cousin, who has now forever changed my life by their willingness to share more with me about my birthmother’s abortion and has been a conduit for messages to and from my birthmother.
As you can imagine, there are many things that I hope to share in the future, but the truth about what happened to me and to my biological mother is difficult and painful. Just as it took me years of my life to process the fact that I’m an abortion survivor, it’s going to take time for me to process all that I now know about the events that took place 36 years ago that have left a trail of pain for so many.
I know many people around the world have been praying for years that I meet my birthmother. I don’t what the future holds, what God has in store for us, but I know that if it is His will, then I will meet my birthmother in His time.
Until then, I cherish the words that we have passed onto one another through family. I take heart, knowing that I was conceived in love and that I was loved by many family members then, and I am loved now by them, too. I rejoice in knowing that she understands that I love her, forgive her and all those that forced the abortion upon her, and that I do the work that I do to redeem what was done to her and me, both victims of abortion. I take joy in knowing she has seen pictures of Olivia, that she appreciates my adoptive family for the amazing blessing they are, that she is proud of the woman I’ve grown to be.
I am strengthened by hearing from her that it’s a miracle that I’m alive. And although the cold, hard truths of what happened 36 years ago are painful, I am emboldened by them. In a world where pro-abortion forces and the liberal media wish to try and discredit me, the truth does not lie.



I delight in learning that some of the personal characteristics that have helped me to survive and overcome have been passed on from her, in learning about my biological roots. I grieve with her over what has happened to all of us, and how devastating abortion has been in our lives. I will continue to walk beside her in spirit and pray for her as she moves along her journey of healing.
People have always had a lot of questions about my birthmother and birth family, any contact that I’ve had with them, and understandably so. Abortion survivors, although much more commonplace than once believed, are still a rarity in comparison to the lives lost, so there is a bit of a curiosity with our lives. Because I speak openly about how abortion affects all of us, how it changes relationships and families, of course people are interested in how it has affected my family members and what my relationships with them are like. Please know that I will continue to integrate the new truths that I have about my life and my contact with my birth family as time progresses and in a way that continues to show all of them the love, respect and compassion I have been aiming to give them throughout my life.
I ask for your patience as my biological family and I work through all of this, and, of course, I covet your prayers.