Dear Abby Tells Mom: Get Over Your Daughter’s Abortion

National   |   Steven Ertelt   |   Mar 21, 2013   |   7:29PM   |   Washington, DC

Advice columnist Dear Abby has a message for a mother who is upset that her daughter aborted her grandchild:  get over it.

A mom who is dealing with massive emotional grief following the death of her grandchild from abortion wrote to the columnist:

Dear Abby: My 22-year-old daughter became pregnant from a guy she had dated only a few months, but never seriously. After weeks of wondering what she was going to do, she decided that terminating her pregnancy was the best thing to do considering she has limited income and still lives with me. I, however, am pro-life, although I do feel that in cases of rape or incest it is acceptable. My daughter knows how I feel about this. I supported her in her decision, but did not agree with it.

Abby, I have taken this really hard. I have cried every day since she had the abortion, and I’m torturing myself thinking this is my fault because I went against everything I believe in when I supported her in her decision.

Why am I beating myself up about this? Is it because she’s my daughter, because I am pro-life or both? How can I stop blaming myself for her decision? — Tortured in the South

Abby responded with a flippant attitude that dismissed the mother’s grief and distress and essentially said to get over the abortion.



Dear Tortured: The decision about whether or not to terminate the pregnancy wasn’t yours to make; it was your daughter’s. Being pro-life, you have your own convictions, but you acted as a loving parent should — you supported your child. If you feel you could benefit from counseling to help you through this, ask your doctor for a referral.

You can write your own response to this dismissive reply by contacting Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips. Write Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.