Planned Parenthood Celebrates Christmas With Chocolate Birth Control

National   |   Steven Ertelt   |   Dec 20, 2012   |   1:48PM   |   Washington, DC

What do you get your special someone for Christmas when they have a sweet tooth? Forget candy canes, cookies, cakes, or pies. Planned Parenthood has an option for you:  chocolate birth control.

The nation’s biggest abortion business has made chocolate “treats” shaped like a packet of birth control with its logo printed prominently on the bottom. The chocolate has the same layout as a birth control packet along with the days of the week each “pill” should be taken.

The pro-abortion blog Jezebel thanked the abortion business today for the “chocolate deliciousness.”

Thank you, Planned Parenthood, for sending me chocolate that looks like birth control. (Not “abortion pills,” mind you!)

I legitimately just ate one of my packs in under 30 seconds. It’s what God intended! [Insert your own reproductive rights-themed joke about PP’s fantastic gift-giving skills here.]

On twitter, pro-abortion activists gleefully thanked the abortion business for the chocolate birth control.

“It’s delicious,” wrote @sarah_eldred while @Ashbrookeross added “If only choc birth control prevented pregnancy, too.” And @katiejmbaker called it the “Best holiday present EVER.”

While some Americans may feel dyspeptic after overeating their Christmas dinner this year, the Planned Parenthood chocolate birth control is sure to upset many stomachs and have people reaching for the nearest bottle of Milk of Magnesia.