HuffPo: Ladies, Stop Having Sex With Republican Men

National   |   Steven Ertelt   |   Apr 27, 2012   |   3:51PM   |   Washington, DC

A columnist at the liberal Huffington Post has an idea for how to increase the number of liberal, Democratic voters and suggests ladies should stop having sex with Republican men and producing children who may grow up to become conservatives.

Writer John Blumental suggests this is the appropriate response for women upset by the so-called War on Women — where Republicans and pro-life advocates are working to protect the conscience rights of religious groups that don’t want to be forced to pay for birth control and abortion-causing drugs for their employees.

Writing in the HuffPo comedy section, Blumenthal makes his case:

Maybe you haven’t heard the news lately ladies, but for reasons only they comprehend, Republican men are waging war on you. That’s right. Full-scale combat. A veritable crusade. We’re talking no contraception, no abortions, no Planned Parenthood, needless vaginal probing, and they’ve only just gotten started.

And what are you doing about it? Not much.

Here’s the scenario: If we elect Mitt Romney, and both houses of Congress end up being dominated by passengers from the clown bus, God only knows how far they’ll go. Will humorless federal agents in black suits, earpieces and reflecting sunglasses be stationed in your bedroom? Will your ovaries become the property of the state? Will women’s suffrage be repealed? Will you be required to wear chastity belts and/or burqas? Will burning witches at the stake return as a reality show?

They’re holding all the cards, ladies, and their self-righteous imaginations are limitless.

But Blumenthal says women have the power to control the debate. How?

Simple. Deny sex to your men folk if they plan to vote Republican. Of course, you probably like sex too, but sometimes people in a democratic society have to make sacrifices for freedom and equality.

So while pro-life advocates are accused of being opposed to sex, liberal, pro-abortion writer Blumenthal actually encourages pro-abortion women to stop having sex. And they say we’re the Neanderthals!

Blumenthal’s piece, meant to be satirical, has another suggestion for depressing the Republican vote this November:

Okay, so now it’s November and you haven’t had sex with him since April. Drooling all over himself, he promises he’ll do anything you say. But what if he tries to trick you? Voting is confidential, so no matter how horny he is, he might tell you he’s voting for Obama, but then vote the Republican ticket instead. How do you prevent this from happening? Simple. Make him stay home on Election Day.

Despite the affinity conservative and Christian voters have for sex — they do tend to have more children than their liberal, pro-abortion counterparts — my guess is most pro-life, conservative voters are especially motivated to get to the polls this November for the chance to defeat the most pro-abortion president since Roe v. Wade.