Returning to Pray at the Abortion Clinic Where My Babies Died

Opinion   |   Kelly Clinger   |   Jan 26, 2012   |   12:34PM   |   Washington, DC

This morning I returned to the clinic where I had my abortions 12 years ago to pray for and plead with Mom’s not to make the decision I made so many years ago.

As I pulled into a parking spot, I sat in the car for a minute and closed my eyes. I wanted to pray that I wouldn’t fall apart, but before I could utter a word, a movie began playing in my head. I could see that hurting, desperate 23 year-old girl who pulled into this very same parking spot in 2000. And suddenly I remembered it ALL.

Every room in that building.
The faces of the nurses.
The pictures of angel’s wings on the ceiling.
I remembered tripping on my way to the car because I was drugged and crying uncontrollably.
I even remembered the abortionist’s hands.

Perhaps I was being naïve, but I wasn’t prepared for the flood of emotions that came.

I also didn’t expect to be overcome with compassion for the mothers and fathers who were arriving one after the other and were convinced that killing their child was their ONLY choice. I could tangibly sense the despair and the hopelessness they felt. I remember it SO well.

I spoke with Robert and Lucia. They are both 18 years old, and Robert just enlisted in the military. He said his father abandoned him and if they have a child now, he wouldn’t be around to take care of the baby. Lucia didn’t say much, but her heart was not soft to hear what we had to say. We asked Robert how he could take a vow to defend America and then his first act as a Marine was going to be taking the life of his own child. He came out of the clinic several times and heard our pleas. But he chose death for his child.

I spoke with Beverly who already has 4 children and said the child in her womb had no heartbeat. I told her we would take her to the hospital around the corner to be sure, but she refused. She even looked right at me as said, “I know that God creates life.” She came out many times to smoke and would cry at the truth of my words. But she chose death for her child.

Matt and I talked to a young couple that looked to be about 4 months along in their pregnancy. They are both atheists and at first they were cussing at us and saying they weren’t going to listen. After awhile, however, they seemed to begin to soften a bit. She told us that the doctor told her she was too small to bear children and she would die in childbirth. We offered to take her to a high-risk OB/GYN to find out what the problem was, but just as she began to talk to us, her boyfriend grabbed her and took her in. Forty-five minutes later, she came out stumbling and groggy as her boyfriend opened the car door for her. I couldn’t help but think “So NOW you decide to be a gentleman? You are about forty-five minutes too late.” They chose death for their child.

the abortion clinic

Of the forty-six women who walked into this abortion clinic today, TWO chose LIFE. I know that heaven rejoices because those two babies were saved, but I wanted to do MORE.

At one point, one of the sidewalk counselors was pleading with the girls from outside the window. “You know that girl you were when you walked in that door? If you kill your child, you will NEVER be that girl again.”

I began to weep…grieving THAT Kelly.

But then I felt such an immense sense of gratitude. While I will never be that Kelly, I AM a NEW creation. I remembered Ephesians 2. I was DEAD in my sins, but because of His great love for ME, God, who is rich in mercy, made ME alive with Christ even when I was dead in transgressions.

As I left, I tried driving through my tears. How do you get past the heaviness that you feel for the babies and for the women who will suffer depression, addiction, suicidal thoughts, and lifelong regret?

However, once I stopped crying, I became VERY angrylike Jesus-turning-over-tables angry. My friend John, who prays outside of this clinic EVERY day, said that he cannot get ONE church to support him. He wasn’t even talking about financial support…he was talking about prayer support, sending people to pray, ANYTHING.

This infuriates me.

Honestly, this makes me NEVER want to step foot in a church again.

There are hundreds of churches within a 15-mile radius of this Orlando abortion clinic. While they are updating their offices, paying for sound systems, and preaching their fluffy messages, babies are DYING…over 3000 a day.

Friends, hear me, we MUST shake off our dullness and be SILENT NO MORE…and STAGNANT no more!

I am angry with pastors who never mention abortion and will not lend a hand to people like my friend, John. I am angry with those who think that writing a check is enough and never think about actually DOING anything for the unborn.

I am angry with Christians who do NOTHING to stand for the least of these and still call themselves Christians.


My hero, John, who pleads for the babies every day… Note:  Kelly Clinger is a pro-life advocate who is a former background vocalist for Britney Spears  and had two abortions before becoming a Christian at age 25. She now is married to Matt Clinger and has two children, Evin (age 15) and Logan (age 9). Clinger is a spokeswoman for the Silent No More Awareness Campaign.