A British woman experienced a roller-coaster ride of pregnancy situations as a young adult, having two abortions, a miscarriage and a son for whom she made an adoption plan.
In a series of abortion stories at iNews, 27-year-old Becca said all those situations helped to cement her belief that women should be allowed to abort their unborn babies.
The British mother, whose name has been changed, said she had her first abortion when she was 17.
“I was already pro-choice; I knew that my body was my body and that every human body should be entirely under the rule of the person themselves,” Becca said. “When I found out I was pregnant the scariest hurdle was telling my mum. Luckily I am blessed as my parents are very supportive.”
Two years later, she got pregnant again, this time to an abusive man who also impregnated her sister and another woman at the same time.
Becca said she miscarried her unborn baby. She said she struggled with the loss, but she also felt angry when a nurse told her of the potential increased risk of miscarriage after an abortion.
“The most shocking thing was a nurse’s attitude … who suggested I may have reduced my chances of conceiving because I had a termination so young and made me feel like it was my fault,” Becca said. “I was so convinced at the time it was, but now I know it wasn’t. It was no-one’s fault. I also know now that I hadn’t reduced my chances of conceiving.”
Then, when she was 20, Becca thought she was pregnant again, but tests did not confirm it. Eight months later, she experienced severe stomach pains and went to the emergency room. Doctors told her she was pregnant and in labor. Becca said she gave birth to a “beautiful” baby boy later that day, and made an adoption plan for him.
“He is now the much-loved child of a couple who could not have children. A messy situation turned into a blessing and I do not have one single regret,” she said.
Two years later, she became pregnant again and aborted another unborn baby. Becca said she made the decision based on her “poor health and lack of income.”
She criticized people who made her feel bad for not giving two of her unborn babies a chance at life. Becca said she felt insulted when a health care counselor suggested she feel ashamed about her abortion.
“I now wish I could find her and tell her that no, I should not feel ashamed, I do not feel guilt because I had no attachment to the foetus and nothing in my brain told me I wanted it or could provide for a human at that time,” she said.
Though Becca said her pregnancy with her son and his adoption were a blessing, she remains firmly “pro-choice” on abortion.
“What transformed my experience was all the choice I was given in the adoption process – and I may choose to be a surrogate now,” she said. “Anti-choice is anti-life, not pro-life. I am pro-choice.”
But the value of a child’s life is not based on whether his/her mother wants them. An unwanted child, whether born or unborn, still is a valuable human being. Becca made a brave and difficult choice to make an adoption plan for her son, realizing she could not take care of him. But her other unborn babies deserved the same chance.