Certainly 19 years old can be a terrifying time to bring a child into the world. Without the ability to even pay her phone bill at the time, Latifah Miles was overwhelmed by the possibility of raising a child, according to Romper.
After discussing the matter with her boyfriend, the decision was made to abort the child. A couple years later, Miles and her boyfriend were more established financially and had moved into an apartment. Then a second pregnancy test came back positive.
“Nobody warned me about the emotional warfare I’d have to deal with once I became a parent later in life,” Miles said.
Miles decided to go through with the second pregnancy, but was terrified there would be “punishment” for the sin of aborting her first child, perhaps miscarriage. She details intense emotions of her pregnancy: “I felt completely undeserving of a pregnancy or a baby. How could I go on to become a mother after I’d taken that chance away from myself only two years prior? My pregnancy, which should’ve been a time of celebration and love, became a personal torture cell of self-doubt and fear.”
Despite her fears and anxiety, a beautiful, healthy, baby boy was born. And despite that, Miles made a comment that pro-life readers will consider both ironic and outlandish.
“It’s been nearly a decade since I had an abortion and about four years since I gave birth to my son. The maternal anxiety hasn’t exactly ended, though it has become far more manageable over time,” Miles said. “Having an abortion before becoming a mom also has made me appreciate motherhood in ways I’m not sure I would’ve otherwise. Looking at my son now, I know I’m a better the mother to him than I was at 19.”
The parallels to Abby Johnson’s book Unplanned resound, as she chronicles the abortions she had in her younger years despite going on to be a mother forever treasuring her daughter.
“I was devastated. I couldn’t believe this was happening to me. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t have any money. I was still in school. My husband and I had just gotten married. My husband was still in school. We weren’t ready. We had not planned this. I was scared, too. I wasn’t sure I would be a good mother. I was terrified about the pain of childbirth. I wasn’t sure how we would afford a child,” Johnson said.
“It would have been so easy to “take care of it.” I mean, I worked at Planned Parenthood. I remember one of the girls I worked with asking me if I thought I wanted to have an abortion. I almost couldn’t believe she was asking me that question. Did she think that every unplanned pregnancy should just be aborted? Well, not mine. It would be hard and I knew that we would have to make sacrifices, but I was going to have this baby. I knew that I could do it…no matter how scared I was.”
“Having a baby is hard. But there is nothing that will bring you more happiness,” Johnson said. True statement for both Miles and Johnson who have been blessed by the birth of their children.