The mother of two young daughters knew that having an abortion merely for convenience would make many in her family uneasy. So, she told no one except her partner.
The anonymous mother told the BBC Magazine Viewpoint that she just “wasn’t sure” she wanted or could cope with a third child.
“We stand by that decision today and, I have to say, give very little thought to the abortion or to the baby that might have been,” she said.
“Life was good” with their two happy, healthy young daughters and life in a home they owned, she told the magazine. But when she discovered she was pregnant again, she said she began to feel “the panic, the trap, of a pregnancy I wasn’t sure I wanted.”
Her story continues:
I had two children. I knew what was involved. I knew about the late nights, the early mornings, the long-running arguments about who’s had the least sleep that week, the mounds of washing, the financial stresses, the diplomatic complexity of negotiating with a toddler. I was honest enough to know that I was only just dealing with two children – and I definitely knew I wasn’t a good enough mother to look after another baby as well.
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I was also pretty sure that my two living, breathing daughters would suffer if I had a third baby – losing out on attention and stability which might affect their characters for life. My eldest had already acted very jealously when our youngest one was born, flinging open the door, stamping her foot and bellowing “NO!” every time she saw her breastfeeding. In fact, I was already wondering whether the age gap was way too small between those two.
For these reasons it did not take long for my partner and I to make the decision to end the pregnancy.
Though she convinces herself that aborting her unborn baby was “the right thing to do,” she kept it a secret from her family. She said she was afraid people would feel sad or upset.
She lied to her two daughters, too, telling them she was going out with friends one Sunday morning when really she was going to abort their sibling. She was five weeks pregnant.
At the end of the article, the woman acknowledges that she killed her unborn baby when she had the abortion: “It seems to me that people who are against abortion are interested in simplifying life. The unborn child is a simple symbol – untarnished, pure and full of promise. But life is not simple.”
One has to wonder what this mother will say to her daughters one day when the discover that their mother aborted their sibling out of convenience. Not a simple conversation, I’m sure.
