Nicki Minaj: Abortion I Had as a Teenager “Has Haunted Me All My Life”

National   |   Steven Ertelt   |   Dec 31, 2014   |   4:16PM   |   Washington, DC

Earlier this month, pop singer Nicki Minaj became the subject of news reports when a song of hers hinted at having an abortion. Assuming she was referencing her aborted baby in the tune, the song says the baby is an “angel looking over” her brother.

Now, Minaj has discussed her abortion further and says the abortion she had as a teenager has “haunted” her during her entire life.

In 2008, Minaj admitted to feeling guilt about having had an abortion in the single “Autobiography.” She was around 15 at the time she ended her pregnancy. Here’s an update from Rolling Stone:

Minaj’s first love was an older guy from Queens she dated while attending the prestigious Manhattan performing-arts high school LaGuardia. When she discovered she was pregnant, “I thought I was going to die,” she admits.

“I was a teenager. It was the hardest thing I’d ever gone through.” She ended up having an abortion, a decision she says has “haunted me all my life,” though it was the right choice for her at the time. “It’d be contradictory if I said I wasn’t pro-choice. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t have anything to offer a child.”

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She first rapped about the experience on a mixtape track called “Autobiography” she says she “didn’t expect anyone to hear.” Now the world is listening to every word she says very carefully: “Millions of people are gonna hear it. And you gotta watch everything you say — people find an issue with every f—— thing.”

The lyrics to “All Things Go” appear to indicate that Minaj either had an abortion or a miscarriage 16 years ago. Either way, the death of the baby had an impact on the singer as Minaj clearly recalls the child in the song’s lyrics and references her young brother:

“I want Caiah to go to college just to say we did it/My child with Aaron, would’ve have been sixteen any minute/So in some ways I feel like Caiah is the both of them/It’s like he’s Cai’s little angel looking over him.”

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The 31-year old also makes it clear that she was once engaged. Or at least that someone once asked for her hand in marriage.

“Ten years ago, that’s when you proposed/I look down, yes I suppose,” Nicki raps.

he was around 15 at the time she ended her pregnancy.