For children growing up, there is little that cuts to the emotional core like a bully calling them “ugly.” It’s a crass attack that usually reveals more about the insecurities of the bully than the beauty of the child being bullied.
But it leaves a lasting impression for young children. Self-esteem issues, the loss of self-worth and a degradation of the beauty God gave each unique human being he created. Overall, it’s a loss of the celebration of the beauty of life.
Although he’s not pro-life on abortion, Jon Bon Jovi’s lyrics to the song “Ugly” are a good reminder to victims for when this kind of thing happens:
If you’re ugly, I’m ugly too
In your eyes the sky’s a different blue
If you could see yourself like others do
You’d wish you were as beautiful as you
And I wish I was a camera sometimes
So, I could take your picture with my mind
Put it in a frame for you to see
How beautiful you really are to me!
Keep that in mind as you see how one young mother responds to an Internet troll — a bully — calling her son, who has Down Syndrome, ugly.
Megan Davies Mennes had a priceless response for the bully — an instagram user named @JusesCrustHD.
Dear Troll,
One user asked, “how will they learn to count to potato?” Another claimed that wasting computers on “retards” was stupid anyway and that the organization deserved to be robbed. These comments, while offensive, simply serve to showcase people’s hate-fueled ignorance and aren’t worth my time. I grimace when I read them, but realize there’s little to be done about such stupidity.
I don’t want to make assumptions about you, but I can guess from your immaturity and ignorance that you know little about the helplessness that parents feel when caring for a sick infant with respiratory issues. Quinn was sick last week, but was feeling much better by Friday. We decided to sit in the backyard and soak up the sun after school. There aren’t many things in this world more beautiful than seeing your recently-ill child light up in a smile, and I snapped a few photos to celebrate his recovery, then posted them on Instagram with the hashtag “#downsyndrome.” I love to look through those photos myself in my spare time because damn if those kiddos aren’t adorable. Of course, you feel differently because you found this photo and left a comment with one simple word:
Ugly.
The fact that you find my child ugly is one thing. You are entitled to your opinion. But the fact that you intentionally search #downsyndrome to find pictures to insult (sadly, Quinn is not the only victim of your behavior; I came across many other inflammatory responses) is both childish and sad. Your profile is also full of offensive posts and crude statements, all of which point to your own illiteracy.
In one such photo, featuring two kids with Down syndrome and the word “wiitard,” you get bent out of shape because many, MANY people called you on you prejudice. You claim it was a joke and that people should lighten up. But what about purposefully seeking out pictures of our children? What about the fact that a beautiful photograph of my son was tarnished by your hatred? That’s not a joke. That’s cyberbullying. Needless to say, I reported your profile, which was removed temporarily, but is now back up. It might be wise to remove it soon before the authorities look into your harassment; these things are taken quite seriously now.This will not be the last time someone discounts my son because he is different. It will not be last time someone makes a joke at his expense, but to actively seek out actual people to tease goes beyond cruel. It’s inhuman.
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I recognize that you want to see me get worked up about your little “joke.” I’ll be honest, it’s hard not to be angry about it, but I can’t allow myself to carry that weight on my shoulders. I can’t allow myself to feel anything but sorry for an individual with so little tact. Because in end, you will be the one to face the consequences of your choices someday. There are few people in this world who tolerate that kind of backwards thinking, and you’ll eventually mouth off to the wrong person. My guess is that you already have, which is why you hide behind a screen name like a coward.
God knows there were plenty of cruel adolescent boys in my time: boys who took pleasure in pranks and jokes at others’ expense. There were even a few of them that were directed at me, but it gave me tough skin and I grew from the experience of facing such mistreatment. Maybe that’s why I’m willing to let this one go; I know where most of those boys ended up and it’s nowhere I’d want to be. And as a teacher, I’ve seen kids like you crash and burn. Go outside. Read a book. Compliment someone. Most importantly, enlighten yourself; there’s already enough cruelty in this world and anyone worth their salt should be striving to make this place better, not worse.
I simply hope my own children learn to look past ignorant comments and actions and treat others with respect and dignity. We all deserve it, even you.
Sincerely,
A Proud Mama
